Fathers & Sons the Bonding Process

Fathers & Sons: the Bonding Process

by Bill Hanson 比尔•汉森

Over the years, Bill Hanson has taken pictures of fathers and sons. Not until his

father's death did he begin to appreciate that his father was his whole world. "The

bond between fathers and sons", says Hanson, "can be celebrated, cursed, strained,

ridiculed, and honored. However, it can not be broken." The following is a moving

story told by Hanson about the father-son relationship.

过去数年间，比尔•汉森拍 摄了许多父子合影。直到他的父亲去世，他才意识到父亲

是他生活的全部。“父子间的亲情纽带，”汉森说，“可以歌颂，诅咒，变得紧张，受到

嘲笑，得到敬重。但 纽带不会断。”下面是汉森讲述的一个父子情深的感人故事。

As far as I am concerned, my father was the finest man who ever lived. William

Andrew Hanson II was my hero － John Wayne, Audie Murphy, and Joe DiMaggio

all rolled into one. He was equal parts friends, mentor, and confidant. We spoke

without words and loved without barriers.

对我而言，我的父亲是世界上最好的人。威廉•安德鲁•汉森二世是我崇拜的英雄——

他集约翰•韦恩，奥迪•墨菲和乔•迪玛吉奥于一身。他是我的朋友，我的良师，我的知已。

我们的交流无需言语，我们的爱没有阻碍。

He grew up without a father, who died when Dad was only 10 years old. Life

must have been lonely for a boy losing his father at such a young age, but Dad

never wallowed in self-pity. He was independent and strong, a stubborn

individualist. I don't know who taught him how to be a father, but he learned the

lessons well.

父亲十岁那年，爷爷就过世了，他在没有父亲的关爱下长大。对一个年幼丧父的孩子

来讲，他的生活一定是孤单寂寞的，但父亲从不沉湎于自怜。他是个自立、坚强而又固执

的人。我不知道是谁教会他做父亲的，但他做得很棒。

It wasn't easy for my parents to raise three boys. As I grew older, it was obvious

that money wasn't plentiful, but Dad never lost his enthusiasm for living. Even our

simplest conversations were painted with smiles. "Dad," I would say, about to ask

to borrow his hammer or pose some mundane question, and he would look up

from his work and say in his unique way, "Yessiree, Bob-tailed, Buffalo Bill, Leroy

Hanson the Third."

父母养育我们三个孩子不容易。随着我的年龄增长，家里的钱显然不够用了。但父亲

从未对生活失去热情，就连我们最简单的对话都带着笑意。要向他借锤子或者提一些傻问

题的时候，我会说：“爸爸，”他就停下手中的活，抬起头，用他那独特的方式说：“是，

先生，短尾巴水牛比尔，勒罗伊•汉森三世。”

He had a real way with words and instilled in me an appreciation and

knowledge for language. If you asked him the meaning of a word, he could tell you

the complete etymology of it. Sometimes, lessons came when I least expected

them. In high school, I brought a date home to meet my father. Trying to impress

her, or just being a teenager, I was sneering and being insulting to just about

everyone in the room. Dad finally said, "Bill, I want you to go over to my dictionary

and tell me what the word ‘sarcasm’ means." He said it in such a commanding

tone, I didn't resist. I flipped open the page and found the literal meaning － to rip

flesh. In one single moment, he taught me the power of words. I haven't forgotten

it.

他非常有语言天赋，并逐步教我欣赏和了解语言。你要是问他一个词的意思，他把这

个词的词源全告诉你。有时，他会冷不丁地给我教诲。高中时，我把女朋友带回家见父亲。

可能想给她留下一个好印象，也可能是年少无知的缘故，我嘲笑了房间里的每个人，那样

子够侮辱人的。最后，爸爸说：“比尔，我要你去查一下我的字典，告诉我‘sarcasm’

是什么意思。”他说话时，带着一种命令的口气，我没有反抗，很快翻到那一页，找到这

个词的原义——撕肉。顷刻间，他教会了我语言的力量，至今我仍未忘记。

The day he died was the hardest day of my life. My world had hinged on him.

No person had loved me the way he did － unconditionally. I began to appreciate

how lonely he must have been when his own father died. Without Dad, I thought

the hope in me had died as well. Our friendship spoke to my soul, and now the

conversation was over.

父亲走的那天是我一生中最痛苦的日子。我的世界一直依赖他，没有一个人象他那样

爱我 -- 无条件地爱。我开始懂得他的父亲去世后，他是多么孤独。没有了爸爸，希望也

随之而去。我们的友谊和我的心灵说话，现在这种对话结束了。

Becoming a father myself wasn't high on my list of things to do. I had a sense

that someday it would happen, but not in the immediate future. Dirty diapers and

responsibilities were not my idea of a good time. Almost a decade after my father

died, an infant changed my mind. His name is Miles Christopher Hanson.

成为一名父亲，并不是我近期计划要做的事情中最要紧的。我觉得，总有一天我会成

为父亲，但却不是近期内。脏兮兮的尿布和种种责任，不是我所认为的快乐时光。父亲去

世后差不多十年，一个婴儿的诞生改变了我的看法。他就是迈尔斯•克里斯托弗•汉森。

When I think about my life today, I see it as before child and after child. Being

a father means there are new challenges for me. I must be prepared to meet

obstacles I never knew existed and keep one step ahead of my growing boy's

needs.

当我今天回顾我的人生，我把它看成有孩子前和有孩子后两种。成为一名父亲意味着

要面对许多新的挑战。我必须准备面对意料不到的种种困难。事先想到正在成长的孩子的

各种需求。

There was no school degree to prepare me for fatherhood. I went to the

bookstores and scoured the shelves for something that would give me a recipe for

being a good father. I found nothing. Here I was, endeavoring to take on the

biggest commitment of my life, and I had no lines, no textbook, no videos to tell

me what to do. It was a job with no description. People would say to me, "Just love

him." Loving was the easy part. Being a father was not.

没有学校授予学位，好让我准备当父亲。我去书店，找遍所有书架，希望找到做个好

父亲的良方，可是一无所获。现在，我正努力承担起我生活中最大的责任。没有相关的文

章，没有书籍，也没有录像带教我怎么做。这是一件无章可循的工作。人们会告诉我：“就

是爱他”。爱是那容易做到的部分。但成为父亲却不是。

I was terrified the first time I held this small, pink, wrinkled bundle in my arms,

the first time I gave him a bath, the first time we were alone together. All I could do

was remember my own childhood and realize that my father had been my world. It

was the best advice I found. Slowly, I began to realize that I had been Miles' world.

I just started taking my cues from him and we did okay together. In fact, now we

are inseparable.

第一次抱起这个小小的，粉红的，满是皱纹的襁袍时，第一次给他洗澡时，第一次我

们俩独处时，我真吓坏了。我能做的就是记起自己的童年，意识到父亲曾是我的世界。这

是我找到的最好忠告。渐渐地，我开始意识到，我已是迈尔斯的世界。我开始从迈尔斯那

里得到暗示，我们俩相处得不错。事实上，现在我俩 无法分开。

If I am mowing the lawn, Miles mows the lawn. If I am reading the paper, Miles

reads the paper. If I am thirsty, so is Miles. He is imitating my steps as I once copied

my own father's. Here is the cycle of life. We learn from our fathers so we can teach

our children.

如果我在除草，迈尔斯也会来除草。如果我在读报，迈尔斯也会拿起报纸。如果我渴

了，他也要喝水。他模仿我走路的样子，宛如当初我学父亲走路的样子。这就是生命的轮

回。我们向父辈学习，这样就能教我们的孩子。

Miles taught me that the hope my father had in abundance did not die with

him. When I look at Miles, I know what my father saw in me － hope for a better

future. I wish there were a way to share with my father his precious grandson. Fate

didn't see it that way. My mother married again, and now both Miles and I benefit

from a caring stepfather. We have developed a father and son bond based on love,

mutual admiration, and respect. My stepfather has been there for me as father,

friend, and counselor. He also had taught me that fathers and sons don't

necessarily have to share flesh and bones. A father is someone who is willing to

claim a son as his own and take the responsibility of that relationship. I am

fortunate to have his influence in my life.

迈尔斯让我明白，我父亲的许多希望并没有随他而逝。我看着迈尔斯时，懂得了我父

亲在我身上看到的东西-- 对美好未来的希望。我真希望有一种办法能让父亲和我一起分享

他的宝贝孙子。但是命运不这么看。我的母亲再婚了，现在，迈尔斯和我都得到继父的关

爱。我们彼此间在爱、钦慕和尊重的基础上建立起了深厚的父子情。继父对我来说，既是

父亲，朋友，又是 顾问。他让我明白了，父子不一定要有血缘关系。父亲就是一位愿意声

称儿子是他自己的，并愿意承担这种关系所包含的责任。我庆幸在自己的一生中受到了他

的影响。

Being a father (parent) is － let's face it － a pretty thankless job. In today's

media, the only fathers we see are the "deadbeat" dads. Where are the millions of

men who toil day after day, sacrificing their own needs in order to fulfill the needs

of their family? Those men are out there, but there are no rewards. Think about it,

when the cameras pan the sidelines at a sporting event, do you hear "Hi, Dad?" No

－ moms get all the credit.

做父亲（家长）是 -- 让我们面对这个事实——一件毫无回报的工作。在今天的媒体

中，我们仅看到那些“失业而穷困潦倒”的父亲。那些任劳任怨，为了家庭牺牲自我的成

千上万的男人在哪儿？他们在尽职，但毫无回报。想一想，运动会上，当摄像机对着场外

拍摄时，你可听到“嗨，爸爸？”不——妈妈得到了所有的赞扬。

Over the years, I have taken pictures to salute the men who are raising the next

generation of fathers. They are redefining what it is to be a father. I consider the

relationship between mother and child equally significant. In fact, Miles has a great

relationship with his mother, as I do with mine. Nevertheless, the photos are

designed to encompass the relationship between father and son. As fathers, old

expectations were to protect, discipline, and provide for their offspring. Today,

society expects and needs men to be more involved. The question is how.

这么多年来，我已拍下了众多照片，以表示对那些培育下一代父亲的男子汉们的敬意。

它们重新诠释了“父亲”这两个字的真正含义。我认为母子间的关系也同样重要。事实上，

迈尔斯和他母亲的关系很好，与我和我母亲的关系一样。但是，这些照片是围绕着父子关

系的主题设计的。以前，父亲的责任是保护、教育和抚养他们的后代；今天，社会期待男

人们，也需要男人们有更多的参与。问题是如何参与。

Each father and son team I have portrayed has found common ground in their

relationship. Some fathers are in the wonderment phase － seeing the world

through the eyes of their growing sons. Others are watching their sons cope with

the demons of today. One or two fathers are discovering their sons. Some sons are

fatherless, and some fathers are sonless. There are fathers who have watched their

sons combat a fatal disease, others who have watched their sons grow into

successful businessmen. Some of the fathers have been primary caregivers to their

sons, while others have felt the pain of seeing their offspring grow up in a distant

city because of divorce. One of the fathers talks of sharing the moment of winning

a world championship title with his son, and another writes of reading Goose

Bumps to his sons each evening. Fathers talk about newborns entering the world

and about coaching Little League, of sons marrying and having their own sons,

and of the passing of tradition. Each has taught by example and each has loved

unconditionally.

我拍摄的每一对父子都有共同点。有些父亲处在一个惊奇的阶段 -- 通过他们成长中

的儿子的眼睛看世界。其他父亲看着儿子与高手较量。也有一、两个父亲正在了解儿子。

有些儿子没有父亲。有些父亲没有儿子。有些父亲看着儿子与致命的疾病作斗争。其他的

父亲则看着儿子成为成功的商人。有些父亲一直对儿子百般呵护，而另外一些因为离婚 ，

不能看到儿子在自己身边长大，非常痛苦。有位父亲谈起与儿子分享赢得世界冠军时的喜

悦。另一位则写每晚读《巴姆鹅》给儿子听的事。父亲们在一块谈论孩子刚刚出生的情景，

谈到指导“少年棒球联合会”，谈到儿子结婚，又有了他们自己的儿子，谈到了传统的消

失。每一位父亲都言传身教。每一位父亲都无条件地爱着自己的儿子。

I hope that, through my photos, you will see men who are doing their best for

their sons. You'll also see sons who are making their fathers proud － not because

they are presidents, star athletes, millionaires, or celebrities, but because, at one

point in history, a man had a son, and that son had a father who became his whole

world. They learned from each other, laughed with each other, argued with each

other, and loved. The bond between fathers and sons is unbreakable. It can be

celebrated, cursed, strained, ridiculed, and honored. However, it can not be

broken.

我希望，通过我的这些照片，你能看到男人们正为了他们的儿子全力以赴。你也会看

到儿子们正让他们的父亲骄傲 -- 并非因为他们是总统、体育明星、百万富翁、著名人士，

而是因为在历史长河中的某一瞬，一个男人有了一个儿子，那个儿子有一个成为他全部世

界的父亲。他们互相学习，一起欢笑，彼此争论，相互爱着。父子间的情感纽带不会断。

它可以被歌颂，被诅咒，遭损害，受揶揄，可以得到敬重，但是，不会中断。